I thought Earth ponies were the pony ladder's bottom rung
I heard that pegasi were brutes, you'd hate to be among
You smell like fishes (you're vicious)
I bet you eat your young
Meet any one of you, the thing to do is run away

But although, I know we're all a bunch of different breeds
Take away our wings and horns, and we're just frightened steeds
So, let's put aside our differences just 'cause what we need's a win
Oh-oh-oh

Come on, rip out all the pages of your history books
Just because we're undercover doesn't mean we're crooks
When we walk, you through the crowd and give your brand-new looks a spin
You're gonna fit right in

They taught us unicorns were super scary maniacs
With horns like razors and tongues like tasers and teeth like tacks
They take your hooves and then they grind them into midnight snacks
The basic gist of it is unicorns are not okay

Look, I know we're risking everything for this endeavor
But look at us, we're brave and strong and weird and clever
Plus closer to the finish than we've ever, ever been (whoa)

So, we better take a leap and put our faith in you
Get our crafty on with sparkles, tape, and super glue
'Cause we're running out of options and we're desperate to begin
You're gonna fit right in

I know you will, now watch and learn

This is how a unicorn walks (walks)
And this is how a unicorn talks (talks)
This is how a unicorn hoops (hoops)
This is how a unicorn screams like a fucking maniac

This is how a unicorn struts (struts)
Oh, watch you shake your unicorn butts (butts)
Now you're in the unicorn know (wow)
Soon, you'll be a unicorn pro

Oh, a unicorn horn makes a unicorn stride
It's the more-head on your forehead, it's the source of your pride
Every unicorn who's born, has worn a horn that's unique
So I'll whip them up as we speak, you be lookin' très magnifique
We'll fake a pony protrusion to make a bony illusion
It's not the perfect solution, but the world's not big on inclusion
And with those rocks in our pocket, we'll reap the reward
And folks'll be floored, we'll strike a new chord
Our magic restored

Lately, all of Equestria has lost its heart
But if we can help to find it, we should play our part

If we fail, we'll go to prison
But if not, we'll start to grin
So, let's begin
We're gonna fit right in

We're gonna fit right in
We're gonna fit right in
We're gonna fit right in (we're gonna fit right in)

This is how a unicorn walks
This is how a unicorn talks
Now you're looking unicorn strong
This is how a unicorn ends this song